That really should have been a warning to me, for if anyone tried to research my past they would find the same brick wall. However I’d had a very successful life as a con artist by then, maybe too successful and I must have gotten overconfident. I stupidly assumedthat as I couldn’t find any of Dave Laurence’s family, then there was no one around to ask those questions, I didn’t ask myself why. Hearsay I know, but I picked up that he’d met Sandra soon after moving into the village and after a whirlwind romance they’d got married nine months later. The general opinion around the village they lived in was that they were a devoted couple. But as I said, no one seemed to have any information about Dave Laurence’s past. It didn’t take long after I stood next to him in his local pub one night to discover – from the faint trace of an accent he had that he still had – that he originally had to have come from the London area somewhere. London is a big city, I come from there myself. So big in. " Glinda?" The Good Witch of the North." Oh. I didn't know her name. I only met her the once."The King nodded. "Anyway, the Witch has two secrets. The first one is that she's queer." A lesbian?" Yeah. But that's complicated by the fact that witches can only gain and keep youth and beauty through orgasm. They must be brought to orgasm, then drink human semen, to remain young and beautiful." And the Witch of the West?" Oh, she uses a dildo. It's about this long," he held his hands apart about a foot, "and it buzzes. Sometimes she straps it inside her, and walks around with it, just buzzing." He shook his head. "But she never comes. She keeps looking for ways to make herself come."The Monkey King scowled, thinking."Then there's the matter of the human semen to drink afterwards. Monkey spunk won't do it -- god knows she's tried to suck me dry. Even when I couldn't quite get it up looking at her."The King looked over at Dorothy, sitting naked across from him."And speaking of monkey spunk,.
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